


Birds And the Bees

by ivedonestranger



Category: Teen Titans (Animated Series)
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Gen, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-17
Updated: 2018-11-16
Packaged: 2019-06-28 22:16:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15716172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ivedonestranger/pseuds/ivedonestranger
Summary: Well, Everyone in the Justice League had thought the Teen Titans had gotten the talk but when Wonder Woman was assigned to give the class to them, she was in for a surprise.





	1. Chapter 1

Based upon the looks on each of the Teen Titans, Wonder Woman realized that they had never received the talk. How in Hera that was possible was beyond her. Being teenagers out of the usual school system, the Justice League felt it was necessary to catch them up on educational elements they had been lacking. Wonder Woman had pulled the short straw and was saddled with sex education. She had only gotten through the first part of how it actually worked when Starfire cried out with horror etched in her beautiful features.

"What? This is not possible. I am not a fool that comes about in April." the pink haired girl squeaked, green eyes wide. She looked back down at the book in her hand and the diagrams that accompanied the information. “Boys put their what in where?!"

Diana looked about at the others and focused on the quiet girl with pale skin and the hood that she always seemed to where. Raven had pulled the hood of her cloak farther down than usual and covered her legs so she was just a pile of blue material.

"Raven, dear?" Diana gently pried.

"Why did you have to tell me this? Don't I have enough nightmares to live with?"

"I can't believe nobody has told you this before." Wonder Woman said exasperatedly.

"We've been kinda busy fighting bad guys to think about where babies come from." Beast Boy said trying desperately not to look uncomfortable.

"Garfield, it's okay. This is just a natural part of growing up."

Beast Boy was about to say something before his face light up understanding something and then becoming red with anger.

"Cyborg! I can’t believe you. This is what you’ve been doing?”

"What?" the half robot young man said trying not to make eye contact.

“Every time you said Jinx was a bad girl and you needed to wrestle her, this is what you were doing! You were doing naked things with her.”

Not quite the right word but close enough. Wonder woman sighed and flopped down on the couch as the cacophony of noise grew. It was punctuated by Starfire throwing down the textbook and speaking solemnly.

"This book of learning says the sexual intercourse is very pleasant and used as a form of recreation. I must find out if this game is something really enjoyable to play.”

Starfire turned to Robin. "Will you stick it in, friend Robin?"

"Whoa Whoa!" Diana said stopping Starfire as she was closing the distance with the blushing leader of the Teen Titans. "Star it's not like that. Its...how do I explain it."

"Private and you shouldn't talk about it anymore. Ever." Raven's muffled voice came from the cloak huddle on the floor. A portal opened up underneath the sorceress. Raven sunk and vanished before Diana could stop her.

Sitting back down Wonder Woman put her head in her hands. This was going to be an excruciating day.


	2. Raven Surfs the Internet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven makes the mistake of getting online and entering her name into the browser.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story was never meant to have a sequel but a funny line came to me one day and it spawned this next chapter. No, I’m probably not going to keep this running comedy as I don’t really have a lot of ideas. I mean, look how long between chapters and I had already marked the story complete. 
> 
> Either way, I hope you find it entertaining. Though not explicit content is described, there is a discussion of it in subtle terms so you have been forewarned.

Raven spent most of the morning trying not to wince as the bright light streamed into her room. It was a poor choice of words that put her into the situation she was now. Starfire wanted to do spring cleaning after Wonder Woman had left and Raven had told her no.

 

“Why do you not want to clean your room to make it nice?” Starfire had asked.

 

“Because I’m lazy.”

 

“But it could be made so beautiful with your dark goth stuff and spell books!”

 

“If you want it clean so bad, why don’t you just do it.”

 

And that was what she did. So, Raven was not curled on her bed comforter, laptop open and trying to ignore the singing coming from the bathroom while the curtains that were never parted, were pulled wide allowing the light to shine in. Raven wasn't dirty, but the place did need a good dusting and sweep.

 

Tapping the letter ‘k' absently until the SearchTheNet bar was full, Raven tried to decide what to do until her annoying Tamaranian friend left. The disturbing part was that the sex education training that the Greek princess had provided continued to rattle around in her head. Of course, she knew about sex, but she never bothered to do more than note the encyclopedia entry and move on with her day. Now there were images in her head, images she could not get out. Raven needed to be distracted!

 

The computer pinged, and Raven squinted at the little icon that had appeared. It was the Giggle app, and it had posted a recommendation for something called a hashtag. Cyborg had installed the software to get her to engage more with her fans in Jump City, but that had died much like the plants Beast Boy had continually given her.

 

Curious, she moved the mouse and clicked the message.

 

"OMGz! #raven spotted at jump city pizza! The wind was a godsend, and I got a good look at her ass! It's as scrumptious as we all thought! #ravenisahotgoddess #myfantasy #teentitansclub"

 

Raven's hand went to her mouth in shock, and a blush heated her gray cheeks.

 

"Raven! I am almost done with the bathroom. Are you okay with me taking your laundry to the washroom? I know Cyborg offered to handle some for you."

 

"Sure," Raven said quickly trying to get Starfire to leave. "Make sure Beast Boy doesn't go near them. I don't want him to see my panties."

 

“But the hearts and horses are so cute!”

 

“Starfire.”

 

“Okay, okay. I shall protect your gorgeously decorated undergarments from prying eyes.”

 

The woman floated out of the room humming as she went.

 

Oh, this was a rabbit hole she knew she did not want to go down but that damn curiosity was getting to her. She hovered over the hashtags and found that they were clickable. The heat in her cheeks worsened as the dark sorceress hovered over #ravenisahotgoddess.

 

_Don't do it. You'll regret it. You know the internet is full of perverts and freaks. You click it, and you'll see things you can't unsee.'_

 

She clicked it.

 

The first few things that came up were not that bad when she scrawled. They were quite flattering of her even though they were a bit crude.

 

"I don't care what anyone else says, #raven has the softest eyes I've ever seen. She saved me, and I fell in love with her right then! #ravenisahotgoddess #otl #thetruth #toomanyhashtags”

 

“I’ve heard some say that #raven is aloof and doesn’t care but when I was injured in a fight between the #hivebastards, she stayed with me until the ambulance game. #ravenisahotgoddess #shesthebest”

 

Raven continued to scroll past the pictures that people took of her from a distance or when she was floating by on her way back to the tower. The young woman did not realize how many people were watching her as she went around her day to day business.

 

“Dudes! #raven has the most expressive eyes and wonderful face. I bet those lips are amazing! #ravenisahotgoddess”

 

Raven's eyebrows knitted trying to think of the meaning, and then it dawned on her.

 

‘ _Ewwww!’_

 

The girl sighed, she was getting into the trash now. For a few minutes, Raven tried to decide if they were nice or not. Some were cute fantasies while others were just raunchy wet dreams that Raven would rather hunt them down and kill them for. Then came the pictures.

 

At first, they were fanart drawn of her in different poses and then there was one of her in a black bikini.

 

‘ _By Azar, if I could fill out a bikini that well.'_

 

And then there was the one of her in a sexy pose and wearing nothing at all. Raven blinked and then blinked again. Yep, that was someone's artistic rendition of her butt, and as inviting as her pose was, Raven was horrified. The face and expression made it appear as if she was easy pickings for anyone.

 

‘ _I am NOT a sex fiend.’_ she thought to herself.

 

The pictures did not get any better. She tried to stop scrolling, but the panel kept telling her that more giggles were being loaded. The art had gone from risque to pornographic rather quickly, and there were a mixture of comments from sweet to the artist to descriptions of what people would do to her if they were in that position.

 

It was one of them that made her freeze horrified.

 

Raven could not breathe. Her face was burning red to the point that one could not make out her gray skin. She wanted to slam the laptop down. How did she think searching was such a good idea? The people online were perverted assholes.

 

Starfire stepped up behind the shocked sorceress and tilted her head a bit and then her face lit up.

 

"Ohhhh! It is a digital drawing of you and someone doing the sex!"

 

Raven visibly jolted having failed to realize that her friend had come back into the room with a feather duster and a vacuum cleaner. The humiliation poured from every part of her skin as Starfire looked at the picture admiringly.

 

"Starfire! Please!" Raven croaked out but could not move her arms to shut the laptop as much as she wanted to.

 

"But I'm confused," Starfire said leaning closer to study the image closely. "Is that not the wrong hole?"

 

"STARFIRE!"

 

Her shout was much louder than she anticipated. Immediately Robin strode into the room with concern on his face and slowed at the burning red heat coming from his friend.

 

“What’s wrong? I heard you shout, Raven.”

 

“I...uh...I---”

 

All she wanted to do was close the laptop. It hadn't dawned on her or Starfire yet was the guy in the drawing enjoying an unconventional treat was their leader. Raven guessed helplessly that it was the alternate uniform design that damned her to an embarrassment and humiliation that no one would ever let her live down.

 

“Oh, Raven was just excited...or worried. I’m not sure. Why did you yell, Friend Raven?” Stafire asked quizzically.

 

Robin stepped up and laid a hand on the computer to turn it around.

 

“Please don’t look,” Raven squeaked out. Her eyes wide and a tear forming. Robin froze and removed his hand.

 

“Raven,” he said gently. “Are you okay?”

 

“Oh!” Starfire said remembering. “Raven just did the internet searching mistake I did last week, Robin.”

 

“Oh," Robin said. His eyes were immediately filling with understanding. He then chuckled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck. "Don't be ashamed, Raven. We all have made that mistake."

 

Robin pushed the laptop closed, and Raven felt as if she had been released from a spell. She shook a little bit, and Robin sat down on the bed beside her as Starfire went happily back to work.

 

"I...I never really got on the internet, so I didn't expect---"

 

"Yeah, the internet is filled with a lot of jerks but also people who want to celebrate us. Even if their work is a bit...imaginative."

 

“So...you searched yourself?”

 

“Three months ago. Quite disturbing. Not that I minded the subject matter, just the thought of other people thinking about the same thing.”

 

“Ah.”

 

“Hey, at least you didn’t get what Beast Boy found out.”

 

Raven’s ears perked up. “What happened?”

 

“The internet is portraying him in a...intimate….relationship with kid flash.”

 

For the first time in a while, laughter exploded from her mouth. It was a low, melodic growl but it seemed to bring a smile to Robin's face.

 

“Okay, so...it’s just the internet and people.”

 

"Yes. We're celebrities, and people are going to get carried away. If they aren't harming or touching you, then I say we ignore it and focus on training. Deal?"

 

“Deal.”

 

Raven stood and began walking towards the door. She turned around to see him opening the laptop and look. Raven’s heart jumped as he tilted his head.

 

"Well, that's something I haven't thought of," he said with a grin and twinkle in his eye.

 

“Only in your perverted dreams, bird boy.”

 

“Deal.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Just something simple I thought of while at work I had to write on my break. I laughed quite a few times while writing it as it felt like a blend of the Teen Titans show and the new Teen Titans Go! Hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
